Fear of loneliness creates emotional dependence

The fact that fear of loneliness creates emotional dependency is still not clear to many of us. Last night I was in a coaching session with a young woman. She told me that her best friend, when she saw her at the gym, didn’t look her straight in the eye. Even worse, she avoided looking at her at all, and this had more or less shocked her deeply. She did not have the courage to go to her, let alone ask if something was wrong. This event kept haunting her for a few days. Until she woke up on Sunday morning and realized that maybe her friend had unfollowed her on Instagram. This indeed turned out to be the case. Her long-time best friend, with whom she had shared life’s ups and downs, had done so without any conversation or anything. 

The young woman looked very upset when she told me this, I saw her aura going in all directions. Her throat and heart chakra were blocked. The young woman, who has always had difficulties with grounding during her life, started to be energetically so ungrounded that she almost stepped out of her body. During our session, she began to wonder out loud, in an emotional state, what on earth she had done so wrong. I kept looking at her and followed these visible emotions with great interest. This was because this same young woman has an enormously strong side to her character, and she was now finally showing her masked feelings. Suddenly I saw her emotional dependency totally emerge. 

Because of her emotional dependency, the de-following on social media hit like a bomb

I asked her why she was unfollowed and what she thought was the reason. She told me that although they still had regular contact on the app, she had not seen her face to face for six weeks. I asked her if her friend was acting normal on the app and according to the young woman she was. I saw that she was deeply touched and asked her why this touched her so much? She couldn’t really answer. Except that she thought it was necessary for her to keep liking her. When I asked her why, she had no idea. In any case, it’s strange that someone unfollows you because you don’t see that person for six weeks and then communicates normally at the same time. So this friend is also dependent on her attention, that’s clear.

In my practice, I come across so many of these stories. People who become completely unstable because someone suddenly stops being nice. I think we all recognize this. But what exactly is behind it?

We have an unnatural fear of loneliness!

We are often incredibly afraid of being alone or of feeling lonely. I myself, for example, live an almost completely isolated life. Although I have a good friend, who I see regularly, and a good girlfriend, who I don’t see regularly, and that’s it. I spent two years in almost total quarantine because of my immune deficiency, and honestly, I loved it! The thing is, people who look at my life don’t understand that I can live like this. I remember giving a lecture for 400 people, 20 years ago. In it, I predicted that in the future I would live totally isolated from everything and everyone. At that time, I was surrounded by lots of people, so it was actually a very strange and unnatural prediction.

But I felt that life would take me on that path. Just yesterday, someone called me. It was a man who has wanted to go on a date with me for a long time, but I have no interest whatsoever. The man with a fairly large ego didn’t understand a thing. He asked me if I was going out with others, if I was in another relationship, and my answer kept being ‘no’. He asked me if I was going out with others. So he asked ‘you work, you eat, and you sleep that’s not a life, is it?’ ‘Why is that not a life?’ Maybe it seems that way for people who can’t fill themselves in and who are not happy with themselves. But I can live with myself just fine, and I enjoy it a lot, too. I also do super nice things, especially in terms of work.

We just misunderstand the words lonely and alone

In the same lectures I gave, I also often explained that lonely was a word that was misread and misinterpreted. This gives it too much of a negative connotation. Loneliness should be read as ‘alone in line’ or in other words in line with yourself, so you are not alone! I also explained the word ‘alone’ differently by replacing it with “all one!” And with that, we don’t mean that you have to gather as many people around you as possible, which is often at the expense of yourself!

The solution lies much more on a spiritual level. When you are ‘alone in line’ and ‘all one’ you have a connection as a soul with all the surrounding souls. Also with all the souls in the cosmos, but most of all you have a deep contact with yourself, and you are one with yourself. When you are fully in touch with yourself, you can also make contact with your higher knowledge and the collective consciousness. If you can do this, you never feel alone, in any way, you always feel connected, with everything and everyone. This is exactly where it goes totally wrong for many people. 

By adapting ourselves to this world, we lose the connection with the souls in other dimensions and with ourselves

When we are born we leave our previous existence, where we had a life between family, friends and others. What form of existence this is, we will leave unspoken, as it is quite different. But as a soul you always live, but often in a changed form as we know it here in this dimension. When you are born here, you also say goodbye to many souls/forms of existence around you. You die, as it were, in that world. You leave your safety and many souls find that incredibly hard to bear.

Because I see, feel, experience transparently and have also been at a number of childbirths, I have observed this fear of incarnation often enough. The difficulty of saying goodbye is mostly very intense. Sometimes the souls refuse to incarnate and are, as it were, pushed down by their guardians. This forced incarnation has many consequences for the human being who has to live here in this earthly dimension after such an incarnation.

The souls do know where they are going. This is because the soul of the baby has regular contact with the energy of the future mother already two years before birth. I then literally see these souls to be incarnated in the aura of the mother-to-be. In this way, I have been able to predict the arrival of many babies, which is actually not that difficult at all. Through this contact, the soul experiences what the energy is like in this dimension. But especially how different the people (souls) have become who are going to receive you. You have made many agreements with your future parents in the previous dimension. Subsequently, they have become totally unrecognisable, due to their own adaptations to their living environment and their parents’ conditioning.

That the soul has to incarnate to unrecognizable souls, who are very different because of all these adaptations, gives an enormous incarnation fear for the soul. The energy/soul level of these adjusted souls, often doesn’t fit at all with the soul that is going to be received by them. The fear of these souls is often so great that the wish to incarnate is broken off. There are two reasons for breaking off the incarnation. The first reason is that the parents can no longer give what was agreed upon to the soul to be received. This is because of the adaptations to their environment and parents. Thus, the parents can no longer activate the karma and lessons for this soul in his/her future life. This is because the soul chooses before incarnation which situations will arise in its life, through which it can develop itself as a soul.

And this is also the best reason never to live in victimhood. For the most part, you have chosen for this yourself. You want to go through certain situations in life to learn from them so that you can live in a higher energy as a soul and/or another form of existence after this life. But this is too big an excursion for this blog. The second reason is simply the fear that becomes too great because the receiving souls have become totally different. Lack of safety is therefore a reason for not wanting to leave the safe family in the previous dimension.

A newly incarnated soul also adapts very quickly to feel safe. The price for this is the loss of contact with ourselves.

In order to experience some safety fast, we as incarnated souls quickly adapt to the environment we find ourselves in. Nobody wants to have the feeling that nobody does understand you and that you are always the odd one out, because you are so different. Because of this we lose the connection with our soul/energy, the collective consciousness, our higher knowing, but especially with ourselves. This is not the only thing that happens, your manifestation as a soul/human is being compromised. This is because the plexus solaris is blocked by the imperfect grounding. An open plexus solaris ensures a good, powerful manifestation in life. If it is closed, the grounding becomes more and more difficult, and you need others more and more to confirm your existence. 

A higher soul who incarnates here, especially between people who have become different than they were before, gets little recognition and acknowledgement for who they are. Literally because no one can really see or understand them totally. Souls who have deeply adapted to the world of living and conditioning from their parents and environment, are no longer able to see the light and origin of the other.

They do, however, subconsciously feel that they were once a soul with the same energy. That is exactly why they have so much trouble seeing and acknowledging that soul in its energetic capacity. Especially because looking at the light of that other soul makes them realize how far away they are from themselves. How many mistakes they have made and how much they still have to transform. So if you as a conscious human/soul are often criticized, then you know that this is because of this. They also want to extinguish your light.

This way it can happen that this new soul never feels known and seen. Because he/she already feels unsafe in this dimension, this soul has no choice but to adapt to this world and its energy. Because of the little recognition, these souls that have incarnated with difficulty, get a low self-image. They want to solve this by trying to get recognition everywhere. They try to get this recognition by excessive adaptation. Always being nice and sweet, never telling anyone the truth. This makes the emptiness in their heart and soul even bigger.

This creates an emotional dependency where even a small rejection feels like they are being dumped into a huge void. They literally feel as if they are losing a part of their existence. These souls also very often get a very big ego, literally to mask their fears, insecurity and insecurities.

The struggling incarnated soul develops life-anxiety

The soul incarnated with difficulty is almost never really well grounded. Many of my clients live, as to speak, with one leg in this dimension and the other is still in the dimension before this life. When the soul is born as an HSP, he/she is therefore automatically an HSP with physical and emotional complaints. Read our article about this https://xcodexfoundation.com/articles/highly-sensitive-personality-hsp-how-to-get-rid-of-a-the-additional-symptoms/

Let it be clear that can also be an HSP without additional complaints. An HSP feels much more, experiences the world in a totally different way and is, above all, very different. The new soul finds it especially difficult to connect with people and the world around him. Combine the fear of life of the newly incarnated soul with the inability to connect, the low self-esteem and the emotional dependence that results from this. Then you have all the conditions for a life with all kinds of psychological and physical problems. You can recognize these characteristics in very many people born in the sixties until now.

We mask these feelings with all our strength and power (through the ego). But we keep looking for a way to fill the immense emptiness and loneliness we feel inside. To fill these emptinesses, we often reach for substances and wrong food. Unfortunately, this only makes the problems worse. The only solution is to stop adapting yourself to your surroundings and to start developing your own strength and identity. From there you can ground and manifest yourself better. A good transformation coach/innerchild specialist who is also familiar with life fears and difficult incarnations can help you very well with this. Try to change your diet as well, much of our daily food has a too low energy level for souls with a much higher energetic frequency. Your body and energy get even more out of balance.

Be aware of the following

Fear of being alone disappears when you reconnect with yourself and realize that you can live this life without any help from others. We always want to keep people behind us. So that we can get support and help from someone in our lives when things get rough. This dependence and not being able to carry your life alone weakens you too much as a soul and as a human being.

So just think!

2 Comments

2 responses to “Fear of loneliness creates emotional dependence”

1. Skaih says:

   July 15, 2022 at 10:31

   Very interesting

   Reply
   • Redactie says:

     July 19, 2022 at 18:54

     Thanks for the compliment 🙂

     Reply